I need

My heart beats fast, too fast to count.  My skin prickles, my veins feel like coiled wires. I feel alive, way too alive to be alive but still not enough. My brain is static, my limbs buzz with uncertainty. Any rational thought has long lost my mind, replaced by the unyielding need to click my tongue, to flap my arms, to pace in straight lines, to move, move, move, move-

Repetitions are the only thing keeping me here in reality, words feeling foreign on my tongue, not leaving my mouth. I’m shaking, losing control once again. My vision gets blurry; the world leaves my conscience – or maybe my conscience leaves the world. And still, I need to repeat something, anything, I need to move, move, move, move-

I try to keep it together, to not embarrass myself or others, but every skill seems to leave me at once. The sounds get louder, too loud, too much, too soon. I feel every molecule of air on my skin, every atom in my every cell. My body burns from the inside out and consumes all the oxygen I have left in me. I breath out and it feels like I’m breathing out my life. I can’t stay still, I have to move, move, move, move-

I need to do something, anything, I need to-

I need to-

I need help.

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