Sonja Nic Rafferty

Teach me Slang I

Chapter I: British English

You are abroad and try to order a nice meal,
you mix up a syllable and spoiled is the deal,
or even worse you deeply have insulted somebody.
Forget all grammar, slang you should study!

Money, money, money rules the world, is a saying,
A QUID or LOLLY you need, BREAD for paying.
Dont be SKINT or BROKE, better you have TONS OF MONEY,
pay CASH A CHEQUE or CASH-IN-HAND with British , HONEY.

You go to Britain and about the weather you have no clue,
ITS COMING DOWN IN BUCKETS and youll BE WET THROUGH.
England isnt famous for its kitchen but you COULD EAT A HORSE!
Dont nosh, grub, gobble or scoff, it could be worse!

The opening hours of pubs are quite confusing,
you like to HIT THE TOWN and FREAK OUT, thats amusing?
You had a couple of ALES and ONE FOR THE ROAD, my dear?
BOTTOMS UP! and SUP UP!, now you are PIE-EYED? Cheers!

Next day you might LOOK LIKE SOMETHING THE CAT BROUGHT IN!,
if you SMOKE LIKE A CHIMNEY that could GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Are you GLUED TO THE TELLY and have SQUARED EYES?
When youre abroad, dont forget, GIVE ME A BUZZ, be nice!

You SHAKE HANDS WITH YOUR WIFES BEST FRIEND, ARE BURSTING TO GO?
OK, DO YOUR BUSINESS, SPEND A PENNY and look for a LOO.
Are you DONE UP LIKE A DOGS DINNER for your date?
Youre a TRENDSETTER, A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES, dont be late!

There are expressions you better do not use, like PADDIES,
COCKNEYS, TAFFIES, JIMMIES, SCOUSERS and GEORDIES.
Eventually they could insult people from Ireland,
London, Wales, Scotland, Liverpool and North East England.

Conversation is important in case youre a globetrotter.
In England youre OVER THE MOON, ITS A SCREAM, SUPER DOOPER?
HAVENT SEEN IT IN DONKEYS EARS? YOURE PULLING MY LEG!
HOLD YOUR HORSES! SEE YOU IN A TICK, YEAP!

Youll meet CHATTERBOXES, CLEVER CLOGS, CRACKPOTS,
ROMEOS, SWEETHEARTS and DARLINGS in the LAND OF NOD.
It was JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED, its to be wished,
or at least BETTER THAN A SLAP IN THE FACE WITH A WET FISH.

TOODLEOO!

2002 Sonja Nic Rafferty


 

All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Sonja Nic Rafferty.
Published on e-Stories.org on 08/10/2004.

 

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