Ray Boorman


I've got a little mongrel that's only got three legs,
he looks silly when he walks and even dafter when he begs.

My dog it had an accident, he's only got one eye,
there's a lump come on the other, the Vet says it's a sty.

He's got an ear infection and just got rid of fleas,
has difficulty smelling and arthritis in his knees.

His fur is always matted and very often smells,
he bit the postman last week, spent two nights in the cells.

He isn't even house trained and often leaves a mess,
won't even let you stroke him, and suffers canine stress.

I know my dog is useless, and I ought to have him shot,
but I wouldn't be without him, he's the only friend i've got.

Just a silly bit of doggerel.(excuse the pun)
But I hope it puts a smile on your face,
and I bet there are still people out there who feel sorry for my pretend dog.
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All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Ray Boorman.
Published on e-Stories.org on 02/17/2011.


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