e-Stories.org - Read short stories and poems online!

Stories and Poems at e-Stories.org
 
Language: English - French - German - Italian - Portuguese - Spanish - Dutch
 
| Home | FAQ | Impressum | Contact |

Linie
Read

Short Stories/Novels
Poems
Our Authors
... worldwide



Linie
Authors

Publish your Works



Delete readers comments

The comment can only be deleted by Jasmin Räbsamen & chardin77 (who wrote the comment)

Do you really want to delete the comment?


Comment from: chardin77

Text:
Hi Jasmin,
Your poem is interesting in style, but a bit difficult to read because of the large interspaces between the lines. For myself it would be much easier to read if you set punctuations to show where one thing ends and the next begins. Then there are some little mistakes "you and does" that doesn't work. It must be "do". "breathe" instead of "breath" 'cause you mention it as a verb not a noun. I stumbled across "rime", too. But it's okay to write it this way, it's the linguistic form for "rhyme". The stanza are not always in agreement with the content. Maybe you can give it a try to make a break when there is a break in the content, too. That would be much easier for the reader to understand. But definitely a nice poem.
Best, Claudio
Authors-ID or Forum-Name:
Your password:


 

© 1999-2021 e-Stories.org - Joerg Schwab
We are not responsible for content written by our authors and visitors and for links outside our domain e-Stories.org. - Our privacy policy